Marie – Page 84

Those moments

January 6, 2012 Marie Leave a Comment

I have very few things I know in life. Well, I know quite a bit about quite a little. But what I’m talking about here are those feelings – the feeling of knowing you want to be a chef, or that feeling of knowing you’ll spend your life traveling the world. Some people seem to just know what they want.

I, however, do not share this trait. I never seem to know anything except that I don’t know anything. And any time I start thinking I know what I want, I start second-guessing myself. Talking myself out of something. “Is it really what I want?” is usually the beginning of a very long conversation held between me, myself, and I.

But there are these moments. Moments that, I like to think, occur to those like myself because its the universe’s way of telling me that I’m on the right track. That this is the right choice. The right path. The right direction. For me, its the moments that make me smile and giggle with the tiniest tear in my eye – the moments where my heart feels so full.

This, dear readers, was one of those moments.

To you it may look like just a little sewing project, a little quilt. To me, it means so much more. For my complete and utter lack of planning I managed to make something that turned out not just exactly as I hoped it would look – it turned out to be the very, very perfect size for a very, very special wooden cradle. Which, sometime in the future, will hopefully hold a precious little girl’s very own doll, wrapped up in her very own special little quilt. And as soon as I placed the quilt with the cradle and realized how effin’ perfect it is together I realized that this was one of those moments.

Winter perks

January 5, 2012 Marie Leave a Comment

Sometimes being lazy with the gardening has it’s perks.

Last spring I bought some bulbs from the local home improvement retailer. I realize that a. I should have purchased bulbs in the fall and b. I could have gotten a whole bag for what I paid for the potted ones… But it was really a spur-of-the-moment choice.

Failing to plant these babies into the ground in the fall, they sat indoors by a window looking rather pathetic (after all, it was just a plastic container of dirt to anyone who didn’t know better). Until now – now they show signs of life. Signs of growth. Signs of the thing I need most this time of year: reassurance that winter, my least favorite season – made only enjoyable by warm hand knits, will be over before I know it.

Pleated top

January 2, 2012 Marie Leave a Comment

Brown Sheep Legacy Lace in Golden Sunrise. #23 Pleated Top from the Spring/Summer 2009 Vogue Knitting. The first project cast on in 2012 for me.

First snow

January 2, 2012 Marie Leave a Comment

The first real snow. It doesn’t look like much, but I promise you there’s probably about an inch or so sitting there. The grass hasn’t been mowed since sometime in October. That rose bush needs trimmed bad. The garden needed tilled. But all of that is meaningless now. Winter is upon us, and I’ve once again proven that I can’t manage even the small tasks around here. What the hell am I going to do if I get the farm I so desperately want?!

In with the new

January 1, 2012 Marie Leave a Comment

I’ve had this cookbook on the shelf for years. A gift from a former life. Every so often it hits me, when I remember where I got something, how different my life is today from those past years. The people I’m no longer around, the old thoughts and beliefs that came with being young and naive (or stupid)… sometimes I miss those days. Sometimes I wonder what life would be like if I had stuck with that path. If I had made different decisions. But then I remember the things that led to my life today, and realize that today I’m luckier and happier and more comfortable with myself because of where I’m at right now. And there’s no need to dwell on the past.

I’ve ridden myself of a lot of things over the years that came from my past. This cookbook, however, I kept. Mainly because I felt it was unique. It was different. Not your standard Betty Crocker cookbook. The recipes in here just felt… fancy. Not the homely comfort food I had grown up with of green bean casseroles, meat loaves, and chicken pot pies. I remember looking through the pages the first time and thinking that the recipes seemed really difficult and complicated. But then… I didn’t really know how to cook, either. (Still don’t, though I’m at least slowly trying to learn).

In all the years that I’ve held onto this book – through move after move – I’ve never once made anything out of it. Even with getting more cooking experience under my belt I still was intimidated by this book. Until today. January 1st. The perfect day to start off on a new attitude. The perfect day to leave old fears behind. The perfect day to break out of my comfort zone and try something new.

The house is quiet, as it usually is, save for the gunshots of my husband playing a Call of Duty game, the whirring of the machine turning and mixing and doing its magic, and the occasional shudder of the house against the cold, strong winds outside. It’s a cold, dreary day here, but I don’t mind. Ice cream, for me, is a year-round affair.