Monday. The day that felt like it would never come fast enough and, yet, did as life threw us one curve ball after another. Before I knew it I was sitting in the waiting room, practically bursting with excitement, anxious to get back to a room at the doctor’s office to have our anatomy scan done. When the ultrasound finally happened, I know my immediate thought was “holy sh*t, that actually looks like a baby!” – after all, just 14 weeks ago I was in the same room looking at a blob of who knows what sitting in what I was told was my uterus.
Early in the appointment the tech asked if we wanted to know what we were having. Of course I wanted to know – I’m a knitter, after all, and have grand plans for lovely hand knits for this kid. So she rolls the wand over to get in the right position and I just blurted out “thaaaat’s a penis” before she could even say anything. Laughs were had by everyone. There’s no mistaking it – we’re definitely having a boy!
I have to admit, I feel like I’m struggling a bit in keeping my identity lately. I’m not the type to talk baby 100% of the time, but it seems everyone wants to talk to me about baby 100% of the time. And I feel like I want to share things here going on in my life, which now will be including a baby, but I’m trying to find ways to balance everything – not ignoring what is going to be a huge portion of my life now, but also not ignoring everything else I am that makes me a person and human being outside of being a mother. I feel like this should be something totally do-able, I just haven’t figured out how yet.