Exhale with relief

For the first time in weeks I feel like I can breathe. Gradually, as the holidays approached, I felt myself becoming more stressed each day. As though I was holding my breath.

Today, I feel a big exhale of relief. The holidays are over, and I’m the happiest I’ve been this whole month. Despite my efforts to be less grinch-like, I still found myself becoming angry. Yesterday I wanted nothing more than to stay home, but I ventured out to see family. After having my weight commented on (something I’m very sensitive about as of late) my whole day felt ruined. I just don’t enjoy the holidays, and I don’t enjoy feeling obligated to visit family that doesn’t care to visit me any other time of year. And I especially don’t enjoy making the trip in just to be insulted and made to feel like shit about how I look.

No, I don’t enjoy the holidays one bit. And I’m happy that they’re over and I can move on and forward and put them behind me. I’m happy to look forward to 2013 and what a new year might bring. I’m happy to be able to think and plan for the next year of gardening, vacationing, and everything else that makes me happy.

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