family

The zoo, 2017 edition

May 20, 2017 Marie Leave a Comment

The Little Mr is REALLY into the zoo these days. We went last week, over Mother’s Day weekend, and it was SO crowded that we didn’t really get to see much. We have a season membership, so no worries – we would just come back another day. Well, today was that day. He begged us to go back to the zoo, so off we went. This time to pet the goats, see the kangaroos (on the other side of the zoo, where we didn’t go the week prior), and pause for a quick little photo op. That sass with the hand on his hip is ALL ME, haha.

The best kind of family heirloom

April 4, 2017 Marie Leave a Comment

This quilt was, I’m confident, 100% hand stitched from start to finish. Do you see that detail on the dresden blocks? ♥ This heirloom was made by a great-great aunt, who gave it to my grandfather, who then passed it onto me. Would you believe that at one point he was going to sell it? But the dealer told him no one would want it because it was orange! Are you kidding me?! Who cares what color it is – it’s a family-made quilt! It’s priceless!!!! And now it’s mine! ♥ ♥ ♥

Sew and trim, this and that

February 25, 2017 Marie Leave a Comment

I’ve discovered, by way of an app on my phone (BreakFree, if you’re interested) that I spend a LOT of time on my phone. Tons. So much that I’m really afraid to admit the number, to be honest. It’s that bad. It’s no wonder I feel so distracted all the time, unable to focus, and so stressed. The app tells you how many times you’ve unlocked your phone as well as how many minutes (or, in my case, hours) you’ve been using your phone that day and then it categorizes you: green, yellow, or red. In the months and months that I’ve had that app on my phone and hadn’t really used it, I had only managed to achieve green once, yellow a handful of times, and red the rest of the times.

So, late this week I decided enough was enough and I needed a change. Lent is coming up, and while I’m not religious I do admire the idea of doing without and/or improving upon oneself for 40 days. I got a bit of an early start at it, but my phone has been removed of Facebook and Google+ and I’ve made a point to not take my phone everywhere I go, to not sit and mindlessly scroll, and to generally stop being buried in a screen out of habit. I’m on my 3rd day in and so far, so good. I can already tell a change in my happiness level, though the kid has been quite angry about me not letting him play games on my phone. He gets a lot of screen time at Nana’s, so really I’m doing us both a favor, right?

I’m really hoping this new no procrastinating on my phone thing revives my blogging. I’m fairly confident that posting to social media so often has killed this – I always think about how I need to blog, but then I never can think of what to write since I’ve already talked about it elsewhere.

I learned something new a week or two ago – paper piecing! That “twenty” above is going on the back of my picnic quilt – I have fabric ordered for the backing, but I’m splitting the backing to have “twenty seventeen” on it to show the year I completed the quilt. I thought I was being pretty clever with that, but man was the “s” incredibly time consuming. All those little itty bitty pieces to help form the curve… good grief. Sew, trim, sew, trim, sew, trim over and over and over again. That quilt is temporarily on hold while I wait for the backing to arrive in the mail, and in the meantime I snatched up a charm pack from Missouri Star Quilt Co from their flash sale (Rainy Day – I think I paid $2.25 or so, which was a huge steal!) that is transforming into a star for a baby quilt for a coworker. As I write, I have the whole thing pieced together but I won’t be able to take a photo of the top until tomorrow. The whole thing has gone together incredibly quickly, which was the whole point of ordering the charm packs – I thought maybe having pre-cut fabric would make the whole project go much smoother, and I’m so thrilled I was right. Because let me tell you – crafting at all these days is a challenge with a rambunctious boy all up in your crafting space, unspooling thread everywhere or snatching pieces of fabric and running off.

I also signed up for a quilting subscription box through FatQuarterShop.com, as one does when you’re distracted and stressed and performing the mom version of retail therapy (i.e. all the online shopping because taking your kid to a store to browse yarn or fabric sounds like a nightmare more than heavenly). My box arrived but I haven’t really had a chance to look through it and compare prices – the box is supposed to be more retail value than what it costs so I want to see if that ends up being true. I have a feeling I’ll end up canceling it after a few boxes like I have every other subscription box I’ve tried, though. In my experience, subscription boxes are fun for a short while, but eventually you end up with too much stuff. Things you don’t have time for, things you won’t ever actually use, things you already have and then feel guilt about the environmental impact of buying things you don’t need…

Let’s see…… what else? Declan started school earlier this month. I didn’t actually realize it was school- it was labeled as an “explore and play” group, but it turns out it’s quite preschool-like. It’s taken him this whole month to stop crying and clinging when he gets dropped off, but I think he’s getting the hang of it now. He can tell me some of his classmates names, and what they learned about that day and what book they read… but you ask him if he’s made any friends? “Ummmmm Miss Crystal and Miss Robin,” he answers. Ahhh yes, my only child would much rather be around the adults than the other children.

Season changes

September 24, 2016 Marie Leave a Comment

Autumn has arrived… kind of. 80 degrees isn’t exactly what I consider fall weather, but it didn’t stop me from wearing my plaid flannel to go pick apples at the annual festival at the local orchard. Normally we wait until after the festival to get the apples at a discounted price, but when you have toddlers you have to compromise – and the idea of a $5/per adult admission for the Little Mr to get to see goats, play in corn mazes, take a trip on the hay ride, etc seemed more worth it than not. We had such a great afternoon that he fell asleep in the less than 10 minute ride home, so we drove around and around looking at houses for nearly 45 minutes just to let him get his nap out. And now I’m left with probably 20-25 pounds of apples that I need to figure out what to do with. Canning probably won’t happen this year, so I’m thinking lots and lots of baked pies and crisps over the next few weeks.

This changing of seasons is marred, however, by the hole in my heart that is my dog, Molly. After months and months of the decision being in the back of my mind, the last month has really taken it from something I needed to consider to something I had to make a final decision on. Her quality of life just wasn’t there anymore, and it killed me to have to make that call, but ultimately she was suffering and it was selfish of me to let her continue as she was. She was 13 years old and a wonderful companion to me for half of that time. My routines are all messed up – there isn’t anyone to let outside in the mornings or before bed, no one cleaning up food behind the toddler, no one following me around from room to room while I try to clean. Coming home from the vet felt… depressingly lonely. She wasn’t there to greet me at the door. Just emptiness. Sigh. I’m going to miss that furry, sweet thing.

On grief, motherhood, and knitting

December 14, 2015 Marie Leave a Comment

atwood

My 95 year old grandfather passed away over the weekend. I can’t say it was unexpected – his quality of life deteriorated significantly this last year or so, but these last weeks it all became much worse and much harder on him. His mind was sharp, but his body was starting to give out on him. Which, of course, bodies do when they’ve been on this earth for 95 years. Tuesday he told my uncle he was “done”, and by Saturday morning my dad was rushing in to spend time with him in his last moments. I’m told he hadn’t moved from the couch in several days and kept his eyes closed and was not engaging in conversation.

I’ve cried a fair bit, I admit. Despite knowing it was coming, and being “okay” with it (meaning that it was for the best that his suffering and pain ended), it’s still hard to not cry when I think of him. We have a photo ornament of my grandfather holding the baby when he was 2 weeks old. We’ve been working with the kiddo to point to me when we say “mama” and to the husband for “dada” and to himself for “Declan.” He never points to himself. Except yesterday, he pointed to the ornament of grandpa holding him and did it. And I about lost it.

My natural urge, when it comes to grief, is to bake and craft. I seek out those things that comfort me. Maybe there’s some symbolism there in the fact that life is varied and full of change and, generally, baking means the same results with the same recipe (and, similarly, the same knit stitch will produce the same stitch result). There’s a bit of meditation in the kitchen or behind the needles. It’s where I go when I need to think. To take some “me” time and reset.

But there’s no time to grieve when you have a one year old under foot. They neither know or understand what is going on outside of their little bubble. They don’t care that mommy needs to be in the kitchen alone to bake and cry. Or to sit in a corner with some yarn and knit and think. Which makes this whole grief thing impossible. How do I take time to grieve when I’m catering to a toddler? How do I take care of myself and my own needs?

I’m sneaking in knitting every chance I can get. 5 stitches here, 10 minutes there… whatever I can squeeze in to be that comfort I need right now. It’s not ideal, of course, but it kind of works.