winter – Page 3

Goodbye holidays, hello new year

December 27, 2014 Marie 1 Comment

The holidays are officially over. I traditionally take down the decorations on New Years Eve/New Years Day, but I’m finding myself itching to take them all down this weekend and get my house back in order. It might have something to do with the fact that our dryer decided to stop working on Christmas so there’s laundry all around the house air drying. It also might have something to do with my readiness to just move on. I need the fresh start that the new year brings.

I had this post written out with all my plans for 2015, but Monday I was diagnosed with postpartum depression and now the only thing that seems important to work on is taking care of myself to fight the PPD and just, overall, survive. I still want to work on my list of plans, but those all have to be secondary. My main priority right now is to get back into running since exercising has always made me feel better and helped with the small bits of depression I’ve had off-and-on throughout my life. We’re probably going to re-join our local YMCA – winter in Ohio isn’t a horrible season to run so long as there isn’t snow and ice, so having the indoor track is going to end up being necessary. I want to get back to my 5k race days, and the only way that will happen is with a lot of hard work and dedication to training 3x a week.

(About the photo: my husband bought me a pizzelle iron for Christmas. They’re imperfect, but I’m getting better at it the more I use it)

All is calm

December 22, 2014 Marie 1 Comment

A peacefully napping baby, a mellow (and temporarily clean) living room, and knitting by holiday lights as the dawn arises. The calm before the holiday storm.

(Knitting is just a basic double-stranded garter stitch blanket, using up some acrylic I’ve had hanging around for a while. It’s not the prettiest thing, but it’ll be a fantastic toddler-sized blanket for the baby’s crib for next winter.)

On traditions and simplicity

December 21, 2014 Marie 2 Comments

Traditions are funny things. They are, by definition, a pattern. It’s tradition for me to put up the tree the day after Thanksgiving. It’s tradition for me to give the niece and nephew an ornament each year. Every year I do the same things.

But traditions change, too. They evolve. It used to be tradition that I went to see my extended family on Christmas day up until a few years ago. Now it’s tradition to stay home and open presents and relax (because it’s something I’ve always wanted but never had as a kid). Christmas with the extended family on my mom’s side used to mean a tree you could barely see because there were so many presents piled around it. Now the tree is more simple, and there are only presents for their children (my mom and uncles and spouses) but not the grandchildren. There’s a little sadness in that for me. It isn’t the presents, though that makes me a bit sad, too. I think it’s that, as an adult, you see things differently. You know the why and how. You see things for what they really are instead of having the lens of childhood innocence to tint your view a different, happy shade.

Traditions change, and it has taken me 30 years to realize it. I can’t believe I’m finally realizing that I don’t have to follow tradition just because “it’s tradition.” I don’t have to do something if I don’t enjoy it. I don’t have to make something work just for the sake of keeping tradition. All I have to do is what makes us all happiest, and say no to the rest. No to making 10 different kinds of cookies and candies, yes to just the one or two we actually enjoy. No to the pressure of making everything hour and minute special, yes to keeping it simple and laid back (which is our style, anyway). No to letting anyone dictate what our traditions should be, yes to doing what works for us.

Just a happy, simple holiday season for probably the first time ever in my life.

Caroling, caroling

December 14, 2014 Marie Leave a Comment

There was a free holiday sing-a-long at the local theater today, so off we went and tucked ourselves into a small side aisle just in case we needed to dash out to the lobby with the baby if he started fussing. The afternoon was a mix of listening to the organists play on the old Wurlitzer and sing-a-long songs. The first one we sang was Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town and I had to fight back tears. I don’t know what, exactly, it was that made it happen, but I hit this super emotional wall and had to fight to maintain control or else I was going to be a sobbing mess and the other people around me would probably think I’m crazy.

I read this today, and I think I’m going to post it somewhere where I might see it a lot. I need to read this over and over again. I need to read it when I’m panicking about things not being perfect and just right. I need to read it when I try to make things perfect and they fail. Over, and over, and over again.

But this year while the world rushes around you, may you hold your sweet baby in your arms and realize that on this first Christmas, your baby will find no greater joy than in you. Because you are Mommy and you make everything beautiful just by being you.

Tomorrow… tomorrow I finish up wrapping presents. They’re not the handmade holiday gifts like I have always imagined I’d give – there’s no time with a job and a little one – but so far I can at least say that the holidays are shaping up, in other ways, just as I had long hoped and dreamed for.

Snowflake photo clips

December 6, 2014 Marie 1 Comment

I’ve had these snowflake buttons in my craft stash for a few years now. I originally purchased them to use as a decorative accent on some felt mitten ornaments I wanted to make, but those never panned out. I tend to hoard supplies and not want to use them, but I’m trying to break that habit. Because, after all, I can generally find something similar to replace it with if I ever want it in the future.

So today I took some much-needed craft time to make a small set of snowflake photo clips. I’ve been using mini clothespins at work to hold photos at my desk with some twine, but with it being the holidays I wanted something sparkly and pretty for the home refrigerator. I had some leftover mini clothespins from another project, and some glitter tape, and a hot glue gun. This whipped up crazy fast, to say the least. The only thing I’m missing are my magnets – every time I find the package, they disappear on me. It might take tearing apart the craft room to find them again… so perhaps these will maybe be a holiday decoration for next year, instead?