I’m giving up hope on life settling down anytime soon. There’s just too much going on and I’m trying desperately to hold it all together (and feeling like I’m failing).
The husband took his interim job full time, which means we have to figure out what we’re doing as far as the business we run. 15 years of my life have been dedicated to half of our business – the idea of letting it go to someone else is hard. But it’s also one of those things that I don’t really want to do anymore. We constantly update the website and that means no real vacations without having to find WiFi and use our time to work instead of relaxing. We’re pulling double duty right now with jobs and it’s absolutely tough.
Any free time I have is spent clinging to something creative. Plain sock knitting has become by BFF because it’s mindless and, yet, productive. I’m slowly slowly slowly knitting my stash. I’ve latched on to sewing now, and this idea of creating my own handmade wardrobe. I don’t need more to do, but there’s something gratifying about the speed of sewing versus the time required to knit anything. The fact that an evening of work can very nearly give me a new tank to wear is highly appealing. I have two new things to show you all if I ever get time to photograph them.
I still haven’t repotted my garden seedlings. It’s usually the last thing on my mind at the end of the day. The weeds need pulled, newspapers laid down, etc in the garden but, again, time. They probably won’t even get planted in time. Or if they do, they’ll probably end up planted and dead while we’re on vacation. I wish I had someone local I could trust to come water them for me. I picked violets this year to steep and make jelly but right now the “tea” is sitting in ice trays in the freezer until I get around to it.
We’re buying a new car tomorrow. Well, I hope we’re buying it tomorrow. I don’t see why we’re not able to, other than I put a fraud alert on my credit after that Anthem insurance bullshit with all our information being accessed. They’re supposed to call to confirm I’m opening a new loan but I’m not sure I entirely trust that process. We need the new car ASAP – mine is falling apart and my necessarily fit for my long commute anymore. Plus we’re driving to Chicago next month…
Chicago. I’m kind of terrified. I’m a small town girl. I rarely travel. And, for the majority of the trip, I’m going to be on my own in this new big city while the husband is in a conference. I don’t know how to navigate public transportation because we don’t have that here. I don’t know what to do to occupy my time while solo. I’m also leaving the baby with my mom, which is adding to the stress. I need to not spend all my time in the apartment we rented via AirBNB. I found a yarn shop, but I know I shouldn’t spend all my time there, too. Every bit of my comfort zone is going to be stretched with this trip and that’s hugely scary.
The baby… is mobile. 8 months seems far too early for my kid to be not only crawling but also pulling himself up on things, getting down on his own, climbing stairs, etc. It’s all very exhausting.
The only thing to do is make peace with the fact that life is pretty non-stop right now, which is hard for a calm-loving homebody like me.
