There was a free holiday sing-a-long at the local theater today, so off we went and tucked ourselves into a small side aisle just in case we needed to dash out to the lobby with the baby if he started fussing. The afternoon was a mix of listening to the organists play on the old Wurlitzer and sing-a-long songs. The first one we sang was Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town and I had to fight back tears. I don’t know what, exactly, it was that made it happen, but I hit this super emotional wall and had to fight to maintain control or else I was going to be a sobbing mess and the other people around me would probably think I’m crazy.
I read this today, and I think I’m going to post it somewhere where I might see it a lot. I need to read this over and over again. I need to read it when I’m panicking about things not being perfect and just right. I need to read it when I try to make things perfect and they fail. Over, and over, and over again.
But this year while the world rushes around you, may you hold your sweet baby in your arms and realize that on this first Christmas, your baby will find no greater joy than in you. Because you are Mommy and you make everything beautiful just by being you.
Tomorrow… tomorrow I finish up wrapping presents. They’re not the handmade holiday gifts like I have always imagined I’d give – there’s no time with a job and a little one – but so far I can at least say that the holidays are shaping up, in other ways, just as I had long hoped and dreamed for.